I lost a cousin recently. Not just a cousin, but a true loved one. We grew up together since our mothers are best friends, even though his family constantly moved around because his dad was in the Air Force, it didn't stop our families from seeing each other. He was the one who taught me how to walk and I can remember the way my mom told me the story of how I walked to him for the first time ever. I can still remember trips to Plattsburgh and Syracuse when I was little and more recently their visit to our house and my visit to Colorado when I was in high school. All the little details about visiting their family because I was always so excited to see him. And now he's gone.

What's worse is the way he left this world. Being beaten so badly that his face was unrecognizable and that the only way his was identifiable was through his tattoo on his arm is no way to leave. His body was found by a policeman who was searching the area on an unrelated call and apparently he was wrapped up in a way that made it seem like he was hidden. It was no simple accident, whether it was simply being the wrong place at the wrong time, or being involved in something, or whatever, it was with intent and it breaks my heart to think of it but I can't help but do so. I've only heard small details of his finding and yet, all I can picture is how he could have looked and how terrible his last few moments must have been. I can't help but think of his mother, father and younger brother and what they must be going through. I find myself constantly reading the articles about his body being found and there haven't been any updates since Sunday, yet I check 4-5 times a day anyways. I need to know that he will be at rest and the only way that can happen is if the person or people who did this horrible thing will be brought to justice. His name hasn't even been released by the media yet I feel like everyone knows already. I love you, Kuya. I know I haven't spoken to you in years but you're always in my heart, I know that you were the same amazing person that I grew up to admire. I regret not keeping in contact with you and I know I can't do anything about it now, but please know, that I will never forget you.

Rest in peace, JBH.